Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize