Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
