Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
