at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Terrible idea I love it
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
