so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
