is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I understand Curling. That high.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
