remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize