Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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