Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
