I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Someone came in the potted fern
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
