So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
