my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
time to smoke my breakfast
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize