My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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