the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
