I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
