after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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