best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
