How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
