I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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