Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
