dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
