apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
