There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize