You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
