Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
