He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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