If i come over, it means nothing
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
