just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
