my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
