Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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