so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
