Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
