I cockslap morals
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
