you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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