she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
