No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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