do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
