Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
