were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
