Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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