Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize