the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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