I got chris browned last night
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Did you just see the Batmobile???
is wine microwaveable?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
