In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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