every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize