I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
