That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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