you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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