but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
