I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
