I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
