at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
