I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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