Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
