and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
