This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
