dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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