Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
