So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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