the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
