You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
