I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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