She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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