i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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