you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
