scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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