Dual....:-)
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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