So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
