Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
