Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
