This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
