I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
