Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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