Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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