That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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