is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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