If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
