i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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