you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
