Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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