READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
