i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
