dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
